Life
Apr 8 2010
I kept up with my effort to focus on my friends and went down to Santa Cruz to visit Shawn last Saturday. I haven’t seen him since he first transferred to UCSC so it was nice hanging out with him again. We drove down to Capitola and stopped by my old apartment and school. It was really nostalgic seeing the place I lived in for 2 years. It brought back a lot of memories — some good, some bad. I’m generally not one who likes to look back and remember the past, since there were things I would rather forget about during that period of my life. We were talking about how we would have lived differently if we were to go back in time and relive our past while retaining our current mental state and knowledge. Of course there were certainly things I wish could be changed, but I also try not to regret them since they made me who I am and led me to where I am today.
On a side note, I got an iPad. I wasn’t planning on getting one; I was quite determined to wait for the 2nd generation after getting burnt with buying the first generation iPhone. I reserved one ahead of time for my friend in Hong Kong who asked me to get it for him since it probably won’t be available internationally for another month or two. When I went to pick it up from the Apple Store on Saturday, I started playing with one of the display units. Right then and there I knew I had to get one of my own. Just reading about the specs and actually picking one up in your own hands and using it are two different things. I know, I am a compulsive shopper. Anyway, I’ve been playing with it all week and I must say I’m quite pleased with this purchase. In fact, I just type this whole entry on the iPad lying in bed.
Mar 27 2010
... or else there shall be bloodshed. This should probably get everyone’s attention. But before I jump to the bloody ending, I should probably backtrack and start in the beginning. We woke up pretty late in the day since Wally slept over last night and we watched Death Note ‘til really late (or really early depending on how you look at it). Heated up our leftover from the night before for lunch, got ready, and hurried out the door to join the boys at Shoreline Lake. It was a beautiful day, and it’s a good sign that summer is almost here and I shouldn’t have to endure anymore sporadic rainy Bay Area weather for at least another 7 months or so. Jim, Nick, and Edward canoed for a bit while the rest of us stayed on the shore to get some tan. Andrew joined us after his optometrist appointment and we played frisbee before heading back to his place for a little gaming and a nap. We got dinner at this Canto restaurant called Pan Tao then headed to Karaoke.
The night was still young and we weren’t too keen on calling it a night and going home just yet, so Andrew, Wally, Raymond, Justin, and myself decided to go to a local park close to Andrew’s to hang out. I was off to the bathroom while the others noticed there was a ring around the moon. Andrew mentioned that it’s bad luck but no one took any interest to that. The night went on and after playing tag and some other childhood playground fun, we started playing hide-and-seek. It was just the first game and Wally was the one doing the seeking. One minute he was chasing Andrew and the next Andrew was on the ground with hands on his forehead. I went over to make sure he’s okay and noticed his head was bleeding from a cut close to the hairline. Apparently he hit his head at one of those low-hanging bars after a failed attempt in dodging it. We put napkins over the cut and told him to keep pressure on it. Luckily after a while the bleeding stopped. The reference of the ringed moon immediately came back to mind and we learned not to ignore signs anymore.
Talking about ignoring signs, I’m probably a master of that. That’s what I was thinking to myself on the drive back after dropping off Raymond and Wally. Things are certainly not going to go anywhere between Wally and I, and all the signs are so blatantly obvious. If I were to learn a lesson from tonight’s event, I should know that ignoring signs will only get myself hurt badly. It’s not like I need to get explicitly rejected to wake up. It has happened before with Ernesto and we all know how well that turned out. I shouldn’t keep doing that to myself. I just wish that I don’t get attached to people so easily. Time to pull myself out of this hole; stop getting depressed over something that’s never meant to be and start enjoying what’s in front of me while it’s still there.
If you haven’t noticed already, I’m awfully bad at keeping my new year’s resolution about blogging. My writing has certainly gotten rusty too. It takes me way longer to figure out what I want to write about and even longer to contemplate how to put them into words. But whenever I write a blog post, I feel relieved and satisfied. It’s a great way to force myself to clear my head and gather my thoughts through a tangle of emotions, and that can only be a good thing. Let’s see when the next time will be when I need to whine again. ;p
Jan 13 2010
An uninspired and slow day at work prompted me to write a blog post. Perhaps it was also a conversation with Wally over IM that motivated me to do so. In one instant message, he told me he kept his blog private so he has a place to put down his thoughts without reservations, a virtual space of his own where he can truly be himself. Something that I once were able to enjoy with dabs.
Obviously the busyness of embarking on the working life was a primary reason for my lack of blogging interest, but knowing that my friends can easily find my blog is indeed a contributing factor as well. Nothing undermines having a personal blog more than not being able to speak one’s mind fully. However, I do miss that freedom when I was able to record down my daily life, write about whatever I think/feel without worrying about offending someone I know in person. It was almost like a form of meditation and a moment of tranquility. I also enjoy being able to go back and read up on my past experiences, seeing how much I’ve changed and how life unraveled. So one of my new year resolutions for this year is to start blogging again, not for anyone else but myself. Let’s hope these extended periods of hiatus have discouraged people I know in real life from coming back, and I have also removed any links to dabs from many of my web presences. We’ll see how this goes.
Let’s start the first entry of the year with something positive then. A lot of people have mentioned that 2009 was a year that left much to be desired. However, for me, it was certainly a fulfilling and exciting year, both on a professional and a personal level. I was able to come to California to visit my friends on several business trips, and had a big leap forward in my career that ultimately led to my moving back to the states. The two years I have spent in Hong Kong since I first departed San Diego weren’t bad at all, but somehow I just wasn’t happy. I submerged myself in work, and even though it was no doubt a time that I had learned a lot professionally, my social life just wasn’t going anywhere. When I eventually got so burnt out with work — from both my full-time job and the numerous freelance projects; when what was once a passion and a hobby turned into just tedious tasks that I dreaded, there was not much else in my life I could fall back on.
Then an opportunity presented itself, and I knew I had to grab it. I’m forever grateful for that decision. It was a definite turning point and that’s how 2009 began. Looking back, there were ups and downs, but generally things were going the right direction. Before I knew it, I’ve not only moved back to the states but to the renowned Silicon Valley, the best place in the world to flourish my career. I settled down, started making new friends, and ended 2009 on a good note. I think that I’m at a place in my life where I’m truly happy again. I enjoy my work and am reaching out socially. Life is exciting again, and the possibilities of 2010 is certainly something I look forward to.
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