Apr 8 2010
I kept up with my effort to focus on my friends and went down to Santa Cruz to visit Shawn last Saturday. I haven’t seen him since he first transferred to UCSC so it was nice hanging out with him again. We drove down to Capitola and stopped by my old apartment and school. It was really nostalgic seeing the place I lived in for 2 years. It brought back a lot of memories — some good, some bad. I’m generally not one who likes to look back and remember the past, since there were things I would rather forget about during that period of my life. We were talking about how we would have lived differently if we were to go back in time and relive our past while retaining our current mental state and knowledge. Of course there were certainly things I wish could be changed, but I also try not to regret them since they made me who I am and led me to where I am today.
On a side note, I got an iPad. I wasn’t planning on getting one; I was quite determined to wait for the 2nd generation after getting burnt with buying the first generation iPhone. I reserved one ahead of time for my friend in Hong Kong who asked me to get it for him since it probably won’t be available internationally for another month or two. When I went to pick it up from the Apple Store on Saturday, I started playing with one of the display units. Right then and there I knew I had to get one of my own. Just reading about the specs and actually picking one up in your own hands and using it are two different things. I know, I am a compulsive shopper. Anyway, I’ve been playing with it all week and I must say I’m quite pleased with this purchase. In fact, I just type this whole entry on the iPad lying in bed.
Apr 2 2010
I was talking to Raymond the other night and he asked if everything’s okay with me. Apparently I seemed down last time when we all hung out. I wasn’t completely surprised since people have told me I wear my heart on my sleeves. However, I was surprise he noticed and took the time to follow up with me. This is something that happens quite often with me. Whenever I develop feelings for a boy, I get so attached and completely forget about all the other people around me; My head gets so wrapped up in the boy that I feel like I have no one else in this world. This is certainly not healthy and something I really need to work on changing if I can help it.
This reminds me of what Aex told Mew in The Love of Siam, which I watched for the 36th time with Chris on Tuesday when I started making the effort to branch out and hang out with my friends. It was his first time watching it and I’m glad it has made as big an impact on him as it has on me.
Mar 27 2010
... or else there shall be bloodshed. This should probably get everyone’s attention. But before I jump to the bloody ending, I should probably backtrack and start in the beginning. We woke up pretty late in the day since Wally slept over last night and we watched Death Note ‘til really late (or really early depending on how you look at it). Heated up our leftover from the night before for lunch, got ready, and hurried out the door to join the boys at Shoreline Lake. It was a beautiful day, and it’s a good sign that summer is almost here and I shouldn’t have to endure anymore sporadic rainy Bay Area weather for at least another 7 months or so. Jim, Nick, and Edward canoed for a bit while the rest of us stayed on the shore to get some tan. Andrew joined us after his optometrist appointment and we played frisbee before heading back to his place for a little gaming and a nap. We got dinner at this Canto restaurant called Pan Tao then headed to Karaoke.
The night was still young and we weren’t too keen on calling it a night and going home just yet, so Andrew, Wally, Raymond, Justin, and myself decided to go to a local park close to Andrew’s to hang out. I was off to the bathroom while the others noticed there was a ring around the moon. Andrew mentioned that it’s bad luck but no one took any interest to that. The night went on and after playing tag and some other childhood playground fun, we started playing hide-and-seek. It was just the first game and Wally was the one doing the seeking. One minute he was chasing Andrew and the next Andrew was on the ground with hands on his forehead. I went over to make sure he’s okay and noticed his head was bleeding from a cut close to the hairline. Apparently he hit his head at one of those low-hanging bars after a failed attempt in dodging it. We put napkins over the cut and told him to keep pressure on it. Luckily after a while the bleeding stopped. The reference of the ringed moon immediately came back to mind and we learned not to ignore signs anymore.
Talking about ignoring signs, I’m probably a master of that. That’s what I was thinking to myself on the drive back after dropping off Raymond and Wally. Things are certainly not going to go anywhere between Wally and I, and all the signs are so blatantly obvious. If I were to learn a lesson from tonight’s event, I should know that ignoring signs will only get myself hurt badly. It’s not like I need to get explicitly rejected to wake up. It has happened before with Ernesto and we all know how well that turned out. I shouldn’t keep doing that to myself. I just wish that I don’t get attached to people so easily. Time to pull myself out of this hole; stop getting depressed over something that’s never meant to be and start enjoying what’s in front of me while it’s still there.
If you haven’t noticed already, I’m awfully bad at keeping my new year’s resolution about blogging. My writing has certainly gotten rusty too. It takes me way longer to figure out what I want to write about and even longer to contemplate how to put them into words. But whenever I write a blog post, I feel relieved and satisfied. It’s a great way to force myself to clear my head and gather my thoughts through a tangle of emotions, and that can only be a good thing. Let’s see when the next time will be when I need to whine again. ;p
